Thread Tools

Mike · June 8th, 11:50 AM

George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.

Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"

Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-
the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real
Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.

Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that hicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
like "the other side.".

John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx's Answer:
It was a historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Voltaire's Answer:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.

Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder's Answer:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

Scully's Answer:
It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in
chickens.

Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.

Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
the road.

Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

Carl Jung's Answer:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that
individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and,
therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

John Locke's Answer:
Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Albert Camus' Answer:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone's Answer:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is
rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.

Immanuel Kant's Answer:
chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own
free will.

MC. Escher's Answer:
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

George Orwell's Answer:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was
crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving
their interests.

Plato's Answer:
For the greater good.

Nietzsche's Answer:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also
across you.

B.F. Skinner's Answer:
Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from
birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to
cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own
freewill.

Jean-Paul Sartre's Answer:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found
it necessary to cross the road.

Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.

O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

Ken Starr's Answer:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of
the president of the United States of America, in an effort to distract
law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As
a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing
and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.
For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional
immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation.
Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side
of the road, until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up
investigations, have been completed. (We also are investigating whether
Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell,
alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any
useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his
feathers.).

Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?

rory096 · June 8th, 11:57 AM

I love those!!! They're hilarious!!

Power_House406 · June 8th, 12:24 PM

you got those off bored.com , i just printed all of those out today, what a coincidence, my dad is reading em' and cracking up right behind me. My favorite is Oj Simpson's responce.