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**sharpeye3000** · October 19th, 07:16 PM

hey guys i have to write this essay for school and i picked paintball and how it should be allowed to be played as a school sport is this ok?

Paintball in Our School
By Dany Elchoueiri

Many sports are played in our school system. Most of them are contact sports including soccer, football, and basketball. How would parents react if their was paintball included in school sports? Would they be shocked, angry, disappointed? People view paintball as being a “violent” sport because when you see people playing you see them carrying “guns” around and “shooting” each other. There are many ways to counter these. Because the “guns” we carry can be called guns but are mostly referred to as markers, and even if we do shoot at each other its not a “kill” it’s a tag or elimination. Paintball is just another way of playing tag but instead of the physical tag you mark your opponent with your paintball marker. There are many things to be learned while playing paintball, like communication and teamwork, Hand eye coordination, and safety.

Coaches and teachers are always enfacizing teamwork and cooperation. Yet some kids play sports like basketball and soccer and don’t like to pass the ball and like to be “ball hogs” and leave all the glory for themselves. Well in paintball you absolutely cannot play without having communicating and using teamwork. On the field players must ALWAYS be calling out opponents positions and giving each other cover. Talking is a big part of the game. If players don’t talk not only will they not help teammates but they can’t help themselves. A reason being is that teammates probably won’t know that they’re there and won’t give away an opponent position and help the person out. Making it a big risk that he would be out.

Kids love video games and everyone knows that. But parents on the other hand hate watching their kid sit 5 - 10 hours on a video game playing because not only will it harm their eyes but it will also distract them from their studies. But we also know that playing video games is good for one thing, hand eye coordination. Paintball helps a lot with hand eye coordination without the use of video games. So the child will be playing a sport, that gets him off the video games, and helps in hand eye coordination.

Safety is the biggest factor in any sport and any coach or referee will tell you this. The biggest and most important part of paintball is playing safely. Paint flies out of markers at an extremely fast speed and it is very important that you protect your eyes from it. Players must ALWAYS have goggles on while on the field otherwise referees have the right to throw you off if you don’t follow this rule. Paintball teaches kids the importance of safety and the phrase “better safe then sorry”. There are also many other ways for players to protect themselves. There is a variety of jerseys, pants, and “armor” to protect players. Jerseys come with padding in certain areas while pants have crotch protecting and padded knees for sliding. Not many injuries occur in paintball mostly because it is not a contact sport. Paintballs do bruise on impact but those bruises do not compare to some of the injuries in football and other contact sports. There is no way for a kid to break a leg or an arm unless it is their fault specifically. It is proven that paintball has the least amount of injuries out of ANY other sport played in schools and outside of schools.

People say many things about paintball being violent and reckless but those things should not be believed. It is only reckless when people do not play at assigned areas with referees and other officials to keep things under control. Paintball is a great sport but it isn’t viewed as it should by people. This sport needs more viewers and more audience. It definitely helps kids in many different ways. If this sport becomes a school sport it can hopefully prosper more and become more popular amongst people. Paintball is an amazing sport that once played not only will people have fun and enjoy it but will want to definitely get more involved in. Helping keeps with communication and teamwork, hand eye coordination, and safety paintball keeps kids in fit conditioning while allowing them to do something that they love to do.

**RunningRioT** · October 19th, 07:20 PM

are you asking me to proofread this?

well for one thing, you took both sides of the story, try to stick with one side.

this sounds more of a report than a persuasive essay.

Torch · October 19th, 07:26 PM

Spell checker it, and look at some grammar mistakes. Otherwise, not bad.

**kidpaintballer** · October 19th, 07:30 PM

make a more catchy first sentence so you grab the readers attetion

**Jester of Paint** · October 19th, 07:45 PM

its alright u need to make it more pursuasive

**sharpeye3000** · October 19th, 07:46 PM

i proof read it just ignore the last sentence

um jw running but how did i go both ways?

no dont proof read.. cuz i just did and i noticed spelling and grammar mistakes just tell me is its good

**paintballer1134** · October 19th, 07:59 PM

My highschool just got in like 15-20 paintballing freshmen in me being one of them we know that when it gets to be time to start up clubs were all going to push for a paintball club. We have this one junior that has be trying to fight for a while to get it a club but the board of education keeps turning him down. Besides the proof read its seemes pretty good also try a new opening sentence to grab the readers attention.

***rubbercement*** · October 19th, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RunningRioT

are you asking me to proofread this?

well for one thing, you took both sides of the story, try to stick with one side.

this sounds more of a report than a persuasive essay.

actually
when writing an argumentive/pursuasive essay u have to present both points
usually you present the other point before the conclusion

kk check it
i'm not gonna proof read this ****
but i'll show u some stuff here and there

"People view paintball as being a "violent sport" => Popular culture has a misconception that paintball is a violent sport because the fundamental rules ofthe game is to eliminate the other team by "shooting" at an opponent.

"There are many things to be learned while playing paintball, like communication and teamwork, Hand eye coordination, and safety." => As with any other sport, paintball promotes basic skills such as communication, teamwork, and coordination while at the same time ensuring the safety of the players.

idk i'm listening to loud music and trying to edit it so there might be some jittery here and there. You need to better transition your paragraphs and work on word usage. Avoid using vauge words such as "people" and "kids"

if i get bored i'll come back and add on some more.

**sharpeye3000** · October 19th, 08:32 PM

thanx paintballer.. im actually also trying to start a club and if it actually gets somewhere HOPEFULLY most unlikely start an actual team for the school... but im a sophmore and i have a few other friends that love the sport and we want to c it prosper around here cuz not a lot of people look at it the way we do... also this is an essay for LA my teacher just said pick an arguable topic and i chose this

thanx for the help guys keep it commin if u can

***MadHumanDizease*** · October 19th, 08:33 PM

Sounds good..

**Homeless Box** · October 19th, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubbercement

actually
when writing an argumentive/pursuasive essay u have to present both points
usually you present the other point before the conclusion

Zing +1

**chaoticprophecy** · October 19th, 08:35 PM

Pretty good man. Grammar little more catchy. Stay on your side and it should be an A.

***rubbercement*** · October 19th, 08:43 PM

i edited my post <=

**sharpeye3000** · October 19th, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubbercement

actually
when writing an argumentive/pursuasive essay u have to present both points
usually you present the other point before the conclusion

kk check it
i'm not gonna proof read this ****
but i'll show u some stuff here and there

"People view paintball as being a "violent sport" => Popular culture has a misconception that paintball is a violent sport because the fundamental rules ofthe game is to eliminate the other team by "shooting" at an opponent.

"There are many things to be learned while playing paintball, like communication and teamwork, Hand eye coordination, and safety." => As with any other sport, paintball promotes basic skills such as communication, teamwork, and coordination while at the same time ensuring the safety of the players.

idk i'm listening to loud music and trying to edit it so there might be some jittery here and there. You need to better transition your paragraphs and work on word usage. Avoid using vauge words such as "people" and "kids"

if i get bored i'll come back and add on some more.

wow that helps.. really good help man thanx

***rubbercement*** · October 19th, 08:55 PM

if u want
u can im me
on aim
melike2eat rice
if u got any question or wording question
+i wrote one for my high school.. and i got shot the hell down =[
The teacher owned me with like a gazillion stuff.. she was like "how does it improve coordination.. how does it promote teamwork.. be more specific ect...." stupid old conservative ho. Like some kid wrote a paper on how we should expand the libary and he got a higher grade than me... his paper had more gramatical errors than a chinese subtitled movie

**sharpeye3000** · October 19th, 09:03 PM

rofl... that sux... but i was told that becuz my school is so liberal that they prob wont exept it.. god i hate pro liberal/conservatives make crap so hard...

if i get the chance ill im u but like im being pounded with HW and such cuz soccer taking up so much time... but thanx for the help if i cant get to u ill try wat u told me on my own really helps

**Ellis** · October 19th, 09:03 PM

Good luck, sounds good.

***LILGERBER*** · October 19th, 10:13 PM

im going to use this for my essay ....yes!!

jk

**sharpeye3000** · October 20th, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LILGERBER

im going to use this for my essay ....yes!!

jk

go ahead use it... just tell ur teacher that i wrote it...

or give me some credit