olddfatbulldog

Dear Mr. Wallace,

As you may know (or maybe not), I am an avid paintball player and I have just entered the tournament scene. Along with two friends, (whom have previous tournament experience) I plan on entering a 3-Man Young Guns tournament on August 21, 2005. Young guns means that all the players in the tournament are 16 years of age or under. We feel that this is a good opportunity for you to promote your business.

How would we be able to promote your business you might ask? Well it’s simple, we as a team are willing to hang up any banners that you might have from our canopy on the day of the event. We will also display your banner on the podium if we place in the event. The whole team will make sure it is clearly visible if and when any pictures are taken. In addition, we would be more than willing to wear any Coldwell Banker attire (i.e. hats or t-shirts) that you may have. Also, we would be willing to place flyers on car windshields and/or handout any other promotional items (i.e. pens, key chains, etc). This is unless of course you don’t see any of this fit as a way to help promote your business.

The team that you would be sponsoring consists of me, Adam O’Neal, Joshua Demarkles, and Michael Gomez. We’re are all good friends and are all located in Philips Ranch. In addition, all of us have been playing for many years and most of us have played in tournaments prior to this event. Josh has played in 9 tournaments with other teams and has been playing for a total 4 years. Michael Gomez has played in one tournament prior to this event and placed well for his first time to a tournament. We all have top of the line markers (or guns) and equipment to better insure our chances of winning. Overall, I believe that our odds of placing in this event are good.

However, in order for our team to accomplish this success, there are a few essential items that we need in order to play. We already have our entrance fee to the tournament paid for, but we also require some paintballs to shoot. The average three-man team will shoot approximately 2 cases or 4000 balls per player in a tournament. This comes out to 6 cases of paintballs. One case of tournament quality paint runs for approximately 50 dollars. This would total out to be $300.00. Josh however, is able to buy the same paint for $40 because he is sponsored by a paintball retailer. This would save you $60.00. Therefore, the end total would be $240.00 for 6 cases of high quality paint. As opposed to the same 6 cases costing $300.00.

In conclusion, we feel that this would be a good opportunity for you as well as for us. So please take time and think about this and please contact me with an answer, for further information, or if you would like to talk to us about negotiating a deal that would better suit you. We would be more than willing to compromise if you feel that this offer would be an unfair partnership. Either way, we will respect the decision that you make and will hold no hard feelings. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this. Please reply back when you have time.

The following is a telephone number in which you can reach me:
My house number: [Removed]
My cell number is: [Removed]

Thank You!

-Adam O'Neal

What do you guys think, anything I should add/take out. I included player profiles on another paper.

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hyper1

A team resume should accompany the sponsorship letter, The sponsor will be interested in the teams past performance, accomplishments, & also future plans. You also need to provide info on other non-competing sponsors, & how through your teams exposer, it has helped their business. It is difficult to get sponsors, but don't get discouraged, & your on the right track by seeking non-paintball related businesses. Over all your letter is decent, but still needs a little work..Remember, keep it as short as possible & only stick to the facts. Don't promise anything you can't deliver & only ask for what/amount the team needs. You don't need to "make a deal" with them, just be direct (but polite) & simply state your need for their support. Most companies spend their advertising/sponsor budjet in the fall months, so it may be a little harder this late in the year. Anyway, I hope this was helpful, & good luck.

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Noob7_0

" The team that you would be sponsoring consists of me, Adam O’Neal, Joshua Demarkles, and Michael Gomez. "

I would change this line to

The team that you would be sponsoring consists of Joshua..., Michael... (their last names Im lazy), and myself Adam.

I think it looks good but I dont know anything, you may want it a bit shorter though.

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prostock05

yea put yourself last, creates more of an impression

olddfatbulldog

Thing is, we're not gonna play another tourney together. We're all on diffrent teams but just coming together for this tourney because there's not enough YG's on are own teams.

Oh and I should add (for you guys) that he's my neighbor and knows me well. I'm pretty sure he'd hook us up. He gave my family Angel tickets a few times.

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prostock05

whats an angel ticket

silentgun

Anaheim(sp?) Angels, baseball team

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Sunday Paintball Clothing

If your a christian paintballer put this in your sig

olddfatbulldog

Yup.

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Snoop06

That looks pretty good to me man, and since you already know him and all it will probably go well. You did a good job writing it too.

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visionimpulse2k

Id say get more to the point. I dont think you need to explain that he is gonna buy your paint for 60 bucks cheaper...

Also, you could offer him the trophy if you win.

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Team S.N.A.F.U
*sponsered by paintball daves*

DM3

Torch

I went through some of this. Mostly just minor things, but the "We're are" just had to go. The other changes are not really needed, but I think it sounds better. Have everyone sign it. Also you should be prepared to answer how promoting Coldwell Banker to a 16-year-old's event would be productive. The ready made answer is that their parents would llikely be there as well.

Dear Mr. Wallace,

As you may know (or maybe not), I am an avid paintball player and I have just entered the tournament scene. Along with two friends, whom have previous tournament experience, I plan on entering a 3-Man Young Guns tournament on August 21, 2005. The Young Guns label means that all the players in the tournament are 16 years of age or under. We feel that this is a good opportunity for you to promote your business.

How would we be able to promote your business you might ask? Well it?s simple, we as a team are willing to hang up any banners that you might have from our canopy on the day of the event. We will also display your banner on the podium if we place in the event. The whole team will make sure it is clearly visible if and when any pictures are taken. In addition, we would be more than willing to wear any Coldwell Banker attire (i.e. hats or t-shirts) that you may have. Also, we would be willing to place flyers on car windshields and/or handout any other promotional items (i.e. pens, key chains, etc). This is unless of course you don?t see any of this fit as a way to help promote your business.

The team that you would be sponsoring consists of Joshua Demarkles, Michael Gomez, and myself, Adam O?Neal. We are all good friends and are all located in Philips Ranch. In addition, all of us have been playing for many years and have previous tournament experience. Josh has played in nine tournaments with other teams and has been playing for a total four years. Michael Gomez has played in one tournament prior to this event and placed well considering. We all have top of the line equipment and this will better insure our chances of winning. Overall, we believe that our odds of placing in this event are good.

However, in order for our team to accomplish this success, there are a few essential items that we need in order to play. We already have our entrance fee to the tournament paid for, but we also require some paintballs to shoot. The average three-man team will shoot approximately 2 cases or 4000 balls per player in a tournament. This comes out to 6 cases of paintballs. One case of tournament quality paint runs for approximately 50 dollars. This would total out to be $300.00. Josh however, is able to buy the same paint for $40 because he is sponsored by a paintball retailer. This would save you $60.00. Therefore, the end total would be $240.00 for 6 cases of high quality paint. As opposed to the same 6 cases costing $300.00.

We feel that this would be a good opportunity for you as well as ourselves. Please take the time to think about this and please contact me with an answer, for further information, or if you would like to talk to us about negotiating a deal that would better suit you. We would be more than willing to compromise if you feel that this offer would be an unfair partnership. Either way, we will respect the decision that you make and will hold no hard feelings. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this. Please reply back when you have time.

The following is a telephone number in which you can reach me:
My house number: [Removed]
My cell number is: [Removed]

Thank You!

-Adam O'Neal
[sign]
-Joshua Demarkles
[sign]
-Michael Gomez
[sign]

What do you guys think, anything I should add/take out. I included player profiles on another paper.

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Fubar2

letter = good. i hope it works!

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NoDoz

How can you benefit him? If you had it in your letter, i didn't catch it. Make it more clear. You want to emphasize this point over other points. Saying it can better their business isn't that deep. Get the emotional connection!

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olddfatbulldog

How would we be able to promote your business you might ask? Well it’s simple, we as a team are willing to hang up any banners that you might have from our canopy on the day of the event. We will also display your banner on the podium if we place in the event. The whole team will make sure it is clearly visible if and when any pictures are taken. In addition, we would be more than willing to wear any Coldwell Banker attire (i.e. hats or t-shirts) that you may have. Also, we would be willing to place flyers on car windshields and/or handout any other promotional items (i.e. pens, key chains, etc). This is unless of course you don’t see any of this fit as a way to help promote your business.

That paragraph may have had a little to do with helping his business...I don't know though...

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DaBluedevil

Try to make the impression that he doesn't have to pay for all your paint, even just half or a quarter would suffice. Ya know?

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paintasquirrel

i concur that the name section must be changed...it was confusing as well as the other problems mention. i thought the overall composition was fine.

ShepardD

I might also include expected attendance numbers (both teams, support people, parents, spectators) for all events that day, whether your division or others to emphasis what kind of targets are there for the marketing. Really sell the benefit of sponsoring you from a business standpoint, is it likely that the $240.00 they spend for you on this one-time event is likely to generate more than that in increased revenue, and can it be justified as a reasonable business expense for them. Those are the bases that need to be covered IMO if you want it to be sucessful.

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Originally Posted by H.L.MENCKEN The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost invariably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And if he is not romantic personally, he is apt to spread discontent among those who are

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pAiNtInYoUrFaCe

i think insure should be ensure... not positive about that though

the letter seems good to me

good luck with the sponsorship

Cockerkid63

Good luck oldfat, i just got sponsored last night!! Im so psyched.

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Gangsta_Redneck

hmm recieved a response yet??????