Joke thread v.4? maybe 3.. - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old February 22nd, 2005, 02:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Joke thread v.4? maybe 3..

Post your jokes here! I got a good one...

Lil johnny was downstairs watching tv one day when he hears something in his parents room. He goes upstairs and he asks:

Johnny: Dad, what are you guys doing in there?

Dad: Nothing son, we are playing poker and your moms the wild card.

So lil johnny thinks nothing of it and starts to walk downstairs again when he hears something in his grandparents room:

Johnny: Grandpa what are you guys doing in there?

Grandpa: Nothing johnny, we are playing poker and your grandmas the wild card.

So now johnny then goes into his room and starts to let one loose and then his grandpa and dad ask him:

Grandpa and dad: Johnny what are you doing in there?

Johnny: Playing poker...and with a hand as sick as this, I dont need no damn wild card!
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 02:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
<3 I love fat chicks <3
 
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ok three guys stay at a hotel but they only have one room left with one huge bed. so they all have to sleep in it. when they wake up the guy on the right says

guy on right: last night i dreamed i had a hj

guy on left: no way so did i...maybe its the room

guy in middle: i dont think so last night i dreamed i was skying (sp?)
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 02:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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skiing. lol not bad. Lil wierd and original.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 03:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Did you hear about the 2 car pileup in Mexico?




























20 dead.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 03:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
to lazy to change avatar
 
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how do you suprise hellen keller?






















stick a plunger in the toilet
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 04:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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you wanna hear a funny joke?

womens rights.

haha but no seriously
two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducked haha
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 04:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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stolen
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 04:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Why were there only 2000 mexicans at the alamo?











Thats all they could fit in the van.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 04:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
Yay! whoops! yay!
 
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Why don't women need drivers license's?


















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OMFG IM TYLPIGN AT LIGHTNING SPEED I CANT SLOW DOWN!
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 04:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
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three gay guys walk into a bar but theres only one stool. What do they do?













Flip over the stool
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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ooo

okay classic blonde joke:

how do you make a blonde run around in circles?























put her in a round room and tell her theres a quarter in the corner.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Why are women's feet smaller then mens?
-So they can be closer to the stove.

Whats the difference between micheal jackson and a grocery bag?
-One is made of plastic and unsafe for children to play with. The other carries groceries.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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what's funnier than 10 dead babies stapled to 1 tree?









1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Did you hear about the black guy that died on I-95 last night?










He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:46 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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where did michael jackson go for college?

bring'em young university

what time is it ALWAYS in michael jacksons neverland?

when the big hand touches the little hand
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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1. how do you know michael jackson is having a party?
-when all the school busses are parked outside his house.

3. Two cops, and two mexicans in a car. Whos driving?
-The cops.

can we post joe momma jokes?
Lol, im going old skool.


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Old February 22nd, 2005, 05:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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There was a guy who could not say anything. One day he went to an opera and heard hem say mememememe so he copied that and now that is the only word he knows.The next day he walks past a gun shop and hears rifle rifle rifle. So now he knows memememe and rifle rifle rifle. The next day he walks by a boxing ring and hears bring it on fat man. Now he knows memememe, rifle rifle rifle and bring it on fat man. The next day he walks past a tv shop and hears on tv plug it in plug it in.So now he knows memememe,rifle rifle rifle,bring it on fat man and plug it in plug it in. The next day he walks by a murder seen and a cop asked him do you know who did this he said memememe then he asked with what rifle rifle rifle then the cop asked do you want to go jail he said bring it on fat man then the cop askeddo you want to be put on the electric chair then he replied plug it in plug it in
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:07 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I'm not gonna say this one how you're suppossed to. Tell you're friends in all seriousness... it get's 'em everytime. And I'm not racist, but delete this if it's too offensive.

So I did some digging into my family tree. It turns out that we have a black guy in it... yeah dude... he's been hanging there for years.

And a few others...

What's the difference between a dead dog, and a dead mexican in the middle of the street?
-The dog had skid marks in front of it

Why did the Jews comb the desert for 40 days and 40 nights
-Isiah dropped a nickle

How can you tell if an asian robbed you're house?
-Your dog's gone, your homework's done, and that mother****er is still trying to back out of you're driveway.

Did you hear about the new Jewish car? Stops on a dime... if you pick it up.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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What do you say when your TV is floating at midnight?

"DROP IT *****!"

Why are the palms of black people's hands white?

Because when God invented color their hands were on the white part of the cop car
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:16 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Guys, Stop with the Racist jokes. The thread will be closed if you keep it up.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:16 PM   #21 (permalink)
 
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N-Bomb = Black Guy

What's the difference between a black guy and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:24 PM   #22 (permalink)
 
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c'mon guys, racial jokes are funny be get some variety!

nuff mj jokes too.
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:26 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Yeah make sure the racist jokes arent that racist enough to have another closed joke thread v.4 or maybe 3...
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:46 PM   #24 (permalink)
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~NO Harm meant in these jokes.....

2 Mexicans jump off a 20 story roof, which one dies first?


Who cares?




What is the difference between a hardworking black person and bigfoot?

Bigfoot's been spotted.




What is the differnece between a dog getting hit by a car and a black person?

There are skid marks leading up to the dog.
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Last edited by xpdi; February 22nd, 2005 at 06:53 PM.. Reason: more jokes
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Old February 22nd, 2005, 06:54 PM   #25 (permalink)
 
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whats the difference from a pr00000stitue and a drug dealer


























the prostit000t washers her crack
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