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Old April 8th, 2005, 11:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Funny joke

Just a joke I recieved in the e-mail today. Thought you guys would find it funny

Writing Assignment

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's a
prime example offered by an English professor from the University of
Phoenix:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write
the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that
paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back,
also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to
say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had
left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage
of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop
them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm
going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no,
I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads; too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
A**hole.

(Gary)
*itch!!

(Rebecca)
F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - *****.

(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one
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Old April 8th, 2005, 11:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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TL;DR version?
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Old April 9th, 2005, 12:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
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way to long to be funny
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Old April 9th, 2005, 12:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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eh, it isn't funny if you don't read the whole thing...

summary:

Guy and girl get assigned project together.

Disagreement.

name calling ensues.

Teacher gives a+.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 12:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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nice lol
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Old April 9th, 2005, 01:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Its ok but sum words i can't proouce and it confuzzles me, such as : chamomile, Anu'udrian, chauvinistic, and what the **** is a treaty...etc... (j/k about the treaty part) BUT IN THE END I HAD PREVAILED OVER THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS AND I READ THE WHOLE ****ing thing. THANK u THANK u very much. IT IS FUNNY THAT THEY GOT AN A+ i need to start doing that in my papers.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 01:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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haha I laughed
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Old April 9th, 2005, 02:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I thought it was hillarious, because it is so stereotypical, yet I could see it happening without a doubt. The pompous chick who likes to pretend that she's an intellectual is thrown around and mocked by the simplestic nerd who plays too many video games. It's great.

Around 3 am, I start getting overanalytical...
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Old April 9th, 2005, 09:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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haha. thats pretty good. gave me a good laugh.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 09:33 AM   #10 (permalink)
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lol so funny and so true
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Old April 9th, 2005, 11:44 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *SHOCKER*
Its ok but sum words i can't proouce and it confuzzles me, such as : chamomile, Anu'udrian, chauvinistic, and what the **** is a treaty...etc... (j/k about the treaty part) BUT IN THE END I HAD PREVAILED OVER THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS AND I READ THE WHOLE ****ing thing. THANK u THANK u very much. IT IS FUNNY THAT THEY GOT AN A+ i need to start doing that in my papers.
chamomile is a type of tea, pronounced CAM-O-MEAL i think
Chauvinistic is like chauvinist, which is a person who feels women should be homemakers, in the kitchen, ect.
Anu'udrian is just a made up aliean name

Yeah, i thought this was pretty funny.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 11:53 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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AMAZING. I would so write a story like that.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 01:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Damn, that guy owned rebecca. Tell rebecca she sucks.

That was pretty funny, nice job.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 03:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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that was funny, well what i read was
those paragraphs are too long, and i got bored reading about tea
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Old April 9th, 2005, 04:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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lol, glad you found it entertaining!

I guess spam is good for some things...
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Old April 9th, 2005, 04:55 PM   #16 (permalink)
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awesome. Who likes reading about a bimbo pondering what tea to have and being basically emo? <3 for Gary's pwnage.
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Old April 9th, 2005, 05:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Awesome
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