there's puke on my pants.. but its not mine - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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there's puke on my pants.. but its not mine

so, half day today. watched some bands, went to my girlfirends. sat around. slept. she came home. hung out. did the usually gf bf thing then went out for dinner. blah balh blah

then he friend comes over. then we go to this party. Well the one girl lets me have her peach snapes.. but then some one breaks and spills the whole bottle so he thought it was mine and gave me free reign over his beer. a foolish thing to do to derek.

so I drank. A lot. This one guy funneled some whiskey and red bull. then a beer, than another beer, than two beers. All around funny ****. he turned into a retarded. Some guys stole the birthday dudes cake and ate it in the furnance room. I went and wathed. funny as hell.. he had cake all down himself and seriously looked retarded eating it.. I laughed real hard.

Then I started funneling and chuggin beers. Drank my fair share.

But see, my girlfriend has this phobia thing with puke. She just freaks out and hyperventilates when she sees it. Well this funneling cake eating mofo is sitting in a chair. My gfs sitting on the couch behind me with me between her legs. And we're talking.. and then this kid just explodes. like puke everywhere and all over himself. My gf jumps up, flips over the couch and bolts it upstairs.

mean while this kid is covered in his own barf and it sprayed like all over. I got some on my pants and just like I lost it. I laughed SO hard. but then I went up to see my gf, she wanted to leave. so I went down and grabbed her purse and jackter and then the smell hit me. I almost lost it. I was heaving. Kept er'down and laughed SO hard. Like I was dying laughing. SO I grabbed her **** went upstairs, head my laughter and she drove me home

I get home. My parents are there with friends. Im hammered. I make a run for my room. She comes in and is looking at the necklace my gf got me and I reek of beer. Yikes.

But I laughed.

and real bad news. I accidentaly called my girlfriend my ex's name. opps.
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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proof that even when youre trashed.. you can still type
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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always a great read. haha <3
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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<3 Derek, always entertaining.
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poke him and call him rumblebelly
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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YES just in time for christmas, another d_smalls drunk thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyD246
Sometimes. You aren't familiar with the posting habits of one Derek Smalls, are you?
he does make a very coherent online drunk.
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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lol smalls u goin to have us another one tomorrow night??
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ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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i'm about to go out myself with a girl i met tonight. if all goes well, i won't be sleeping alone tonight. even if it goes horribly, i'll still be hammered. so I sense a good night coming along.
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:39 PM   #8 (permalink)
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ahh no! I got that feeling where you just pissd but gotta piss again,. but you know its just gonna hurt.. ****.
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Old December 23rd, 2005, 11:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
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nvm, it didnt hurt.. but there was a kink and i pissed all over the seat.. damn.. sorry mom.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:20 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D_Smalls
nvm, it didnt hurt.. but there was a kink and i pissed all over the seat.. damn.. sorry mom.
you dont piss in the sink?
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:21 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobide
he does make a very coherent online drunk.
Sometimes.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Sometimes.

Im getting better. I used to be horrible.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:38 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I know how it is. A few weeks ago a friend of mine left me two comments on *******. The first was mid-drink...perfect typing. A half hour later (no more drinks, it just finally hit her)....I think there was something wrong with each word in the comment.

I can type alright when I'm drunk, most of the time. By the time I have to press "backspace" six times per word, I just call it quits.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:47 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I love your stories,Smalls. Always a good read.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 01:02 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Well, I'll tell you guys since I posted it in this thread before. The night went alright. She had to be home at 1:00 am so she had to leave liek 20 minutes ago. I did drink a lot though. It's just now starting to hit. obviously i'm a good typer when I'm drunk, but that's only because i'm anal and correct errors i see immediatley. I'm goign to see her again by the way, new years party baby!
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Old December 24th, 2005, 01:52 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Ya, people tend to look retarted while they're drunk and eating cake...good story.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 02:15 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Im getting better. I used to be horrible.
Practice makes perfect, Right?

<3 for derek. I always look forward to these threads. It's been a while, if I do say so myself.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 08:07 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Nice story. It actully kept me entertained . Ive had those similar moments where someone pukes on you. Your barely got puked on though, Have you Ever been atcully puked on? like all in your lap? let me tell you, its not pretty.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 09:34 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Nice story. It actully kept me entertained . Ive had those similar moments where someone pukes on you. Your barely got puked on though, Have you Ever been atcully puked on? like all in your lap? let me tell you, its not pretty.
I dont think so. Thankfully. I'm usually pretty good about it. I never puke on myself when I spew. Well, a bit on my shoes and feet. But that's no problem.

but this kid was just sitting there and exploded. He didnt even try to get up or anything. Just blah! hahaha. The cake and fries went everywhere. haha.

I got the after beer farts now though. Nasty.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 09:35 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dudeus000
you dont piss in the sink?

not usually. It's been done though. If im real real drunk I'll sit down. In this case, I should have.

But outdoor urination is the best.


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Practice makes perfect, Right?

<3 for derek. I always look forward to these threads. It's been a while, if I do say so myself.
there was the one last week. but it was first in a long time. I usually dont come home anymore so i never have a computer to mess around on.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 09:38 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Lol. I <3 these threads.
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Old December 24th, 2005, 09:42 AM   #22 (permalink)
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A couple of my friends want me to go drunk toboganing with them tonight (aka Tobozzin').

apparently it's xmas eve though
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Old December 24th, 2005, 10:29 AM   #23 (permalink)
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apparently it's xmas eve though
hahahahahaha nice. and yeah outdoor urination is heavenly..no aim required
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Old December 24th, 2005, 10:34 AM   #24 (permalink)
 
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hahahahahaha nice. and yeah outdoor urination is heavenly..no aim required
No way! and all this time ive been aiming
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Old December 24th, 2005, 12:38 PM   #25 (permalink)
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D_Smalls lounge threads > all other lounge threads

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