I feel stupid (girl thread) - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I feel stupid (girl thread)

Alright... So a few months ago I meet this girl at a football game. She's pretty cool, and we talk a little bit at the game. Then I go home that night and am talking to my friend that had been freinds with her and he shows me part of their convo saying she likes me and stuff like that. So then she IM's me and were talking some more. A couple weeks later were going out. So we were only going out for like a month and then she was acting kind of wierd, just not being herself. I decide that I don't liker her anymore and that I'm going to break up with her, because I liked this other girl anyways. She took it pretty hard but within the week we were back to just being friends and hanging out again. Then we were cool for a while, we were better friends than ever.

Then she decided to tell me that she still liked me, and to be completely honest I was starting to like her again but I couldn't bring myself to go out with her again because I had just broken up with her only a month before, and had been pretty adamant that I didn't like her, because at the time I really didn't. So then because we were talking about it too much and both getting frustrated with each other, and we gave each other some space, and didn't talk for two weeks.

We start talking again and it was wierd because we both missed talking to each other. And honestly, it sucked not talking to her, and I started realizing how ****ing retarded I was being. And now I'm in the situation that I'm not sure if she likes me, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if she does. I told her 3 weeks ago that I didn't want to go out because I couldn't suck it up and admit to my other friends that I do like her. Now, I think I'm just going to let things go for a little while and see what happens. But I think I will definately end up telling her how I feel, and I think it will work out.

Basically, I just feel retarded for how I've handled the whole situation.

/rant

If you have anything positive to contribute, sweet. If not, I don't really care at all, just needed to get this out, because I haven't grown the balls to explain this to my friends.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Meh, I was in a similar situation a few months ago.

Basically, you shouldn't give a rat's ass about what your friends think. Sure, they'll mess with you a little, but that's one of the benefits of friends.

Talk to the chick. Work things out. Or, if you think she's determined enough, play it by ear and let her work herself out. Things have a natural tendency to get better, unless you mess with them and **** up things even worse.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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what can i say, that sucks dude, first of all, you ****ed up good, now the positive helpfull ****.

you shouldnt have dumped her, if you thought she was acting wierd, talk to her first, if it doesnt help, then dump her.
learn to not be friends with an ex, it will only confuse you.
if you made the friends mistake, and now like her, then date her, if your friends dont support you adn make fun of you, then thye arent good friends, find new ones.

edit: as to what pizza said, if they mess with you a little and act like dumbasses, be cool thats what friends are for, it will all be fond memories someday, if they are complete jerks however, well... you know.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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ive found the best way to avoid drama with girls is to act like you are in the conversation, but have them talk the entire time. that way i can space out, and throw in the occasional "yeah"s and "exactly"s. this way i dont say anything stupid and i dont get involved in her drama.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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uuummm, NYY, did you read the story? i fail to see how your comment relates.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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there really is no response required to the original thread, he said that he needed to just let it out. what can you possibly tell someone in that situation? if you like her, go out with her. if she causes too much trouble, find someone you love and go out with her instead.
i disagree with not being friends with an ex too. if the breakup wasnt ugly then theres no reason why you shouldnt talk with her. if you spent months going out with someone, why would you suddenly just lose contact with them.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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yea good point.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:46 PM   #8 (permalink)
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good friends will support you. just go for it. plus its just high school.
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Old December 30th, 2005, 11:58 PM   #9 (permalink)
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that it is, no point getting too worried about it. i think you guys just rushed into it kinda fast and needed to really get to know each other better before any sort of a serious relationship had any chance of survival. give it another go mate.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:07 AM   #10 (permalink)
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This thread reminded me of this. Please Read.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Trying to jack my thread?!? Just playin', it's cool. Read his thread to...
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Old December 31st, 2005, 02:18 AM   #12 (permalink)
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The Billy Joel song "Tell her about it" comes to mind
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Old December 31st, 2005, 07:52 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Basically, I just feel retarded for how I've handled the whole situation.
Bingo... you really hit the nail with that statement.

Relationships are not whims. "I decided I didn't like her anymore..." wow.. that doesn't show a lot of emotional depth there at all.

I don't profess to understand women, but I do know that when they give thier heart to someone, it is generally with a whole lot of feeling. Women make connections, want emotion, dedication, and some type of a sense that there is value to the relationship.

Men just want to see thier panties...

See the basic conflict?

So basically, you need to grow up a little bit; stop playing with the girls emotions and decide what you want out of a relationship and maybe invest a little of your self into this.

Good luck... high school relationships are fraught with complications...



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Old December 31st, 2005, 09:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Bingo... you really hit the nail with that statement.
At least I got something right.

See, that's part of what happened. I mean, I had no idea that she liked me as much as she did, and thought that she would understand. I kinda phrased that bad saying that, I "decided" I didn't like her. More of, I realized that I didn't like her, and there was another girl that I liked more. And beleive it or not, there is more to this than me wanting to get into her panties. I wouldn't be going for her if it was, and that's not to say that she's not attractive, just she is very catholic and isn't just going to put out.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 10:57 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Its really up to you now, you know? You have to make the next step I think. If you want to get back with her, talk to her, ask her out, something like that.

If you don't, talk to her and work it all out, but I think you need to take the initiative for this now.

Quote:
ive found the best way to avoid drama with girls is to act like you are in the conversation, but have them talk the entire time. that way i can space out, and throw in the occasional "yeah"s and "exactly"s. this way i dont say anything stupid and i dont get involved in her drama.
lol, qft
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Old December 31st, 2005, 11:13 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Men just want to see thier panties...
Not all of us, but for the most part...
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Old January 7th, 2006, 02:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I've been hanging out with her every day for the last week basically, but haven't had a chance to talk to her about how I feel. So, I couldn't sleep at all tonight because it was driving me crazy. I figured out that she was awake (it's 3 a.m. here), and then snuck out and drove to her house and explained everything to her. Everything is cool now and we are back together. And she wasn't mad at all that I came so late, she's happy as hell right now.

Thanks for all the input, and sorry to bring back the thread. Somebody other than pbf chat had to know.
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Old January 7th, 2006, 02:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
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yeah dude, when we're around the table at the wedding 5 years from now, i can be like "yeah i was there man, i was there"
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Old January 7th, 2006, 02:44 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Thats awesome to hear,VC8228. Congratulations.
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Old January 7th, 2006, 02:45 AM   #20 (permalink)
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<3 to the two people in pbf chat w/ me actually talking.
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Old January 7th, 2006, 03:02 AM   #21 (permalink)
 
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Glad to hear that. Keep it real.
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Old January 7th, 2006, 03:06 AM   #22 (permalink)
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this is on my level. what I would do.

As mentioned in recent box office hit movie 40 year old virgin...you are putting the pussy on a pedistal. Get back with her but fast track to the sex. after you hit it the conquest is over. no need to deal with the drama. After you hit it ignore her for a while. Talk to her when it suits you and one of two things will happen. she will call you a dick and never talk to you again. or she will throw her self at you every time you ask for it. this is called a **** or boink buddy.


as far as real advice. don't ask us. its on you. you already know what you wanna do deep inside and you are just waiting for someone else to tell you to do it. Love isn't some potion you mix up and give to someone. its something that has to be crafted for each couple. some people can yell at each other one minute and have fierce make up sex the next. this is called italians. you get the idea.
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Old January 7th, 2006, 01:01 PM   #23 (permalink)
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It always bugs me when people date, break up, get back together, break up, get back together, and so on.


Maybe you arent mature enough to date someone and realize that you do like them. Or maybe you arent mature enough to realize that what you have now is buer's remorse---you know shes a cool girl but you arent attracted but you are because you dont have anyone with you at the time.
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