I felt terrible (girl thread) - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I felt terrible (girl thread)

Ok, this is MY story.

A few years ago, my mom moved from the Comfort Inn that she managed for about a year, to the Hampton Inn next door. After about 6months being at the new hotel, she was going on a bizness trip to Florida that you could bring family with. My mom told me that I could go, and that the new Manager at the hotel was going to bring her daughter. The way she said daughter made me thing that it was a youngling.

Then, the day that we were to drive to KC to catch a flight, was the first time I met the new Manager and her daughter. I remember that I went into the lobby and sat and read a mag or something. When the Comfort Inn manager came out with her daughter, I was supprised to see that she was my age, if not older. "Brandon, this is Candy" my mom introduced me "and here daughter, Monica". "Hi, nice to meet you two" I said. Candy seemed to be about my moms age, and Monica I later learned was 1 year older than me.

After that we never said much, we went to KC (seperate cars) and stayed at a manager friends hotel for the night. I only saw her once, and that was when she informed me that my mom wanted me (cant remember why).

After that we headed to the airport. I remember that I tried to start a conversation, but she never said much, so it ended. I figures she was quite, which I later found out, that she thought the same as me.

On the plane, we never weren't close enough to chat, so I just listened to my CD player while she worked on some homework.

After we got to Florida, we headed to our seperate rooms at the Embassy Suites Florida. Our rooms were on each other side of this LARGE hotel.

The next day, our parents had parents had to go to meeting about every 3 hours, and about 2-3 meetings (with breaks). Both my mom and Candy "set up" that I was going to with Monica and do some activities around the hotel at, like, 9:30am.

When I went up to the room, I was amazed that I wasn't very nervous that I am going to be with this beautiful young woman for somewhat of a date. When I knocked on the door, she open, and looked better than ever she smiled and said "Let's do this". She seemed in a very perky mood (not like that you pervs) than the quite girl that she seemed.

I 'pre-decided' that we were going to go out in the 72 degree sunny weather, and shoot some hoops. I, at the time, had a pretty good jump shot. We just talked about normall stuff. The rest of the day we just did some other stuff, and I remember there was a mini-arcade at the hotel with a Hocky-Puck game. To her disapointment, it was out-of-order. I promissed her that we would play b4 leave the Embassy. Later that day, our parents weren't out of the meeting for liek another hour or so.

It got to the point where we were sitting at a table, out of things to talk about, and out of things to do. We were literaly sitting quite for about 10mins. I finally came up with something to do, I decided to get a piece of paper and play the old childhood game "M.A.S.H." (we were desperate for something to do)

The rest of the trip was great fun, we swam, went to Universal Studios, and finally played Hockey-Puck like I promised. Over the trip we had built a very close relationship.

This is when I started ****ing up...

We stayed close friends for a long while, but I started slipping away. I suddenly started getting nervous whenever I was around her, which I hated, so I kept coming up with excuses to not be with her. She lived somewhat close to me, but she hated her house, and loved my apartment. She convinced her mom to move in to our apartment duplex.

After that, she begged me to do stuff, and I wanted to, but, I didn;t want to . I yet to find out why I had those mixed emotions.

I decided to change this...

I was planning to start "hanging out" with Monica more often once school started and we would be going to the same school. But till then, I just wasn't invloved in her life. I now wish I would have been.

Just about less than a month of being in HS, the worst happen.

I remember my mom waking me up telling me that something happend to Candy at the hotel, and she had to take Monica up to the hospital. I, half asleep, told her that I didn't want to go. I just thinking of that decision, makes me want to throw my monitor across the room. How selfish can I be. No matter if the friend is old or new, you should be there for him/her.

What happend was that Candy was in the middle of checking someone in, when she collapsed behind the desk. The guest claims she didn't seem sick, that she just collapsed.

I still figured everything would be allright, and maybe I would gring a "get-well-soon" card up to the hospital. I never would get that chance. The next morning, she was pronouced dead due to a stroke, on which she was on life-support.

Even now, I can't think of words to describe my feelings that I had when I heard the news. Plus the fact that I was completly ignoring her, and now, I wanted to be the friend I allways wanted to be with her. The funerall was about 1 week b4 school started, I had never been so nervous when I headed up there. For the few days in between her death and the funeral, I had never been so quite in my life. Xbox Live, people thought my mic was broken, my mind was allways on Candy and Monica.

At the funeral, I remembered seeing Monica and her friends that were with her. She came up to me, gave me a big hug, and told every1 that I was the Freshman they could pick on next year. I was speechless, want do you say to some1 that you have ignored for so long, and now, you want to be Worlds greatest friend?

After the funeral, I was outside, just looking at some pictures of the Florida trip that was around of alot of "Im Memory of..." pictures, when a friend of Monica that I had know allmost as long as Monica, then I finally studdered: "I wish..." she looks at me "I just wish... I could of been their for her". She nodded, but with a disapointed look. I felt like the lowest of low any1 can get. I sat out in the car until my mom was ready to leave.

It is amazing how life can chang completly in a matter of days, seconds. Even if some1 dies from a friend whos mom seems in perfect health.

I remember the last time I saw Candy, which I never saw much since I hadn't seen Monica in a long time, was about 1-2 days b4 her death, she brought me home from work, and I was telling her how much I wanted to go to HS, and how I was going to start seeing her more often. I was wrong...
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
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dude shorten it up like 10 pages
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
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sorry, just read. I tried my best to keep it short.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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dude shorten it up like 10 pages
If you don't wanna read it, don't, and shut the hell up. Or... you could just suck it up and read it.

Anyways, that sucks dude. All I think that you can really do now, is be the best freind you can possibly be for her, and don't make the same mistake again. Just make sure that you are there for her and that she knows that.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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damn i was about to make a joke about candy being on of my hookers but then i read she died. sorry to hear it man
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Ya,I guess just be there for her.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
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damn dude that sucks it really does i read the whole thing
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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sucks bro.. if you still wanna be her friend just give her a call.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I also never told you that she doesn't have a father. I think she lives with her Uncle
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Hey guys, her Birthday is JAN. 18th. If I were to get her something, any1 have any suggestions. IDK what she likes, I havn't hung out with her for an insanly logn time.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:32 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Ask her
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:39 AM   #12 (permalink)
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IDK, I still feal terrible, I kinda want to tell her how I feel, but, IDK how to.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:51 AM   #13 (permalink)
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just say i like you will you go out wid me
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Old December 31st, 2005, 01:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
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give her a card, with all your thoughts in it.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 02:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
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just say i like you will you go out wid me
wtf? What makes you think I like like her? (lol, middle school all over again)
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Old December 31st, 2005, 02:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
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You mean you don't like her?
Just kidding...just kidding.

Get a card? See her ahead of time, that would be good if you want to buy more. Or offer to buy her dinner/lunch and talk and catch up with each other, if you're comfortable with it or think it isn't past the 'friends' idea.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 02:26 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Just tell her your regrets.

I read it all, it read pretty well.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 02:28 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Thanks guys. I'll keep you updated if anything happens.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 09:48 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Sounds stupid coming from me, if you read my thread, but... I think you just need to tell her how you feel. Explain everything to her, and she should understand.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 10:18 AM   #20 (permalink)
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wtf? What makes you think I like like her? (lol, middle school all over again)


Firstly, of course you do.


Secondly, how old are you? 14? No worries, no worries. Life goes on.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 10:32 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Hmm. I think you should apologize, it will take this weight off of your shoulders and make you feel a whole lot better. Take her out to dinner and a movie.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 10:50 AM   #22 (permalink)
 
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Yea, this is something I learned the hard way. Just talk to her, take her out somewhere, and just hang with her. The worst thing that can happen is that she doesnt have fun, and then either way you will have a weight off your shoulders.

I know it can be hard, but you really have to just suck up your fear once, and go see her. Once thats done, one way or another, it will be easier. If you two hit it off and become good friends, it becomes easier to talk. (Here comes the harsh part) If for some reason you two decide you don't really like each other, then you aren't caught in between, and you can hang with her as a friend or something without worrying.

Like I said, its harsh, but I had a situation like it (not as sad, and btw Im really sorry about all that. I know the feeling of 20/20 hindsight, just feeling so stupid. The only thing I can tell you is the cliche that whats done is done, and you need to focus on the future not the past) and this is all I can tell you. The other thing is for you to just talk to her, maybe tell her what you basically told all of us.

Anyway, good luck and you have my hopes.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 11:04 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Firstly, of course you do.


Secondly, how old are you? 14? No worries, no worries. Life goes on.
He has to be 16 because he said a couple of years ago this happened.
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Old December 31st, 2005, 11:45 AM   #24 (permalink)
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teddy bear. there made for these situations exactly
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Old December 31st, 2005, 12:13 PM   #25 (permalink)
 
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jewelry.. all girls love that stuff..u pretty much cant go wrong, get her something inexpensive but nice something that u know she'll like..
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