Silly McDonalds - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old April 8th, 2006, 07:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Silly McDonalds

Found this on some website. Prolly old, oh well. Prolly fake, but it's still funny.


McDonald's Fast Food Job Application:

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED
HIM! (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options
and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not
possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible
collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday,
and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're
better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I
had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT
WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50
LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE
YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy
super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND
COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 07:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
shine on.
 
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Old April 8th, 2006, 07:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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haha i laughed
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Old April 8th, 2006, 07:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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that is awesome
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Old April 8th, 2006, 07:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Tricks are for kids...

(Thread title)
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Old April 8th, 2006, 08:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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lol that was good.

and to people who will say this is as old as the internet, stfu. It's still funny.


Just incase..
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Old April 8th, 2006, 08:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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thats silly.....
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Quote:
The same argument you make could apply to cars, paintball guns, prostitutes, and firearms.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 09:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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hahhahahaa i laughed pretty hard.. i think i'll go do that sometime...
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Old April 8th, 2006, 10:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superaggcoolguy

This is an actual job application
No its not. Its an actual e-mail some fat guy typed up.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha
No its not. Its an actual e-mail some fat guy typed up.
I copied it and pasted it from a website, notice how above about 1 inch it says prolly fake?
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:33 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm agreeing with you, I just didnt quote that part too.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha
Yeah, I'm agreeing with you, I just didnt quote that part too.
Oh, well ya, some fat guy prolly did type it, but it's still funny.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I was so pissed at gamestop I was going to apply.

"What is your reasoning for applying at GameStop?"
"Most of your employees are worthless, not helpful, rude, and don't seem to give a damn. I figured it'd be a guarenteed job."


Luckily I got my game and my hatred is only sort of again.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I'm not saying this is funny. Sorry and nice try to amuse me but you can't do it.
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Old April 8th, 2006, 11:54 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah. Be tuff. Don't let these pussies let you crack.
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Old April 9th, 2006, 12:12 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyD
Yeah. Be tuff. Don't let these pussies let you crack.
yeah really, idk whats with this guy, hes hard **** though. DONE COME IN THE LOUNGE IF YOU CANT BE "AMUSED'' HARDASS!
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Old April 9th, 2006, 12:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaintballMisfit
I'm not saying this is funny. Sorry and nice try to amuse me but you can't do it.
You must be from Texas, eh?
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Old April 9th, 2006, 12:20 AM   #18 (permalink)
Lounge prostitute
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha
No its not. Its an actual e-mail some fat guy typed up.
doesn't matter, it's still funny.
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Old April 9th, 2006, 12:36 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Heheh clever. I enjoyed it.
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Old April 9th, 2006, 12:46 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvwpg
doesn't matter, it's still funny.
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