Doing it to myself again - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old September 24th, 2006, 06:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Doing it to myself again

I really hate the way my mind works. If theres something that has less than a slim to nothing chance of being my fault, or not even my fault just that I could have had a hand somehow no matter how indirectly Ill let it eat at me. And Im doing it again right now. This time I know, and Ill repeat that just to drive the point home to me, I know what happened does not involve me at all.

Last night I found out that a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend. How might that somehow indirectly or not involve me? Well, last Friday she came over to my dorm to chill. Her boyfriend went to chill with his friends and before she came over it was the first time that she told him she didnt care if he smoked weed. She has her reasons for why she doesnt like it, I know them, you wont because I want to respect her privacy, which is also why Im not using any names. Getting back on track, he called her and said that he was smoking a lot of weed with his friends, which pissed her off. So she wanted to piss him off and began planning, and writing down, this whole elaborite story about what happened Friday night. The story she wrote involved beer, drugs, and basicly a big ole' orgy. What really happened was just chilling and we had a beer or two.

The elaborate story she came up with she didnt tell him. But she did fabricate what happened. She said that she got plastered and someone had to drive her car back to her house- reality, she wasnt even buzzed. Now, while this is going on Im thinking to myself, what if this backfires? I didnt think a whole lot of it because I figured she'd know how far to take it.
I dont know what happened between them, but the timing of it is probably, no, definalty why Im killing myself over this.

Last night at around 11:30 I had to take a walk and try and clear my head because I had an 8:00 class the next (this) morning and didnt want to be laying awake in my bed until 3:00 unable to fall asleep cause Im so over consumed with what happend. Ive done that before, and it sucks. So on my walk I did something I havent done in almost a year to the day. Pray. The last time I prayed was at the side of my grandmother's casket. It takes a lot to get me to turn to God, but I did last night. I prayed for her. I know shes not religious, but neither am I. I prayed that God look after her. I know that shes an emotionally strong person, and I didnt need to do it, but its something I felt like I had to do.

Why did bother to type this all out? For me. I had to get it out. Yeah I have people I can talk to but theres something about typing this all out and geting this out uninterrupted the first time thats gonna help me not dwell on this for longer than I should. The real difference this time is I know its all in my head, and its easier to convice myself of that this time.
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Old September 24th, 2006, 06:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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dude, after reading your other story.. you really should probably get some help you dont seem like a very stable person.
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Old September 24th, 2006, 07:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I think he just likes typing out really long stories to make us read them.
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Old September 24th, 2006, 07:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Aren't you supposed to post arount the other parts of the forum before you come here?
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Old September 24th, 2006, 10:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Aren't you supposed to post arount the other parts of the forum before you come here?
not anymore... posts are counted here...
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Old September 24th, 2006, 10:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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what? they are?
meh, oh well

look man I dunno what's up with you, but dont' come running to an internet forum for help. go to a church adn get some numbers of peopel who can help you
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Old September 24th, 2006, 11:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
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tl;dr? i stopped at how my mind works..

also shorten your sig
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Old September 25th, 2006, 12:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Gangsta_Redneck
tl;dr? i stopped at how my mind works..

also shorten your sig
i didnt get that far lol i looked at long post and looked to see who posted it. I said to my self this guy is new time to scroll down look for the short one
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Old September 25th, 2006, 01:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I didn't understand your post one ****ing bit.
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Old September 25th, 2006, 02:35 AM   #10 (permalink)
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What if you tried praying yourself out of this ****in forum.


(damn, I'm on a rampage tonight) =\ ((in my opinion at least)) (((those offended by my posts should report them to the moderators))) ((((which doesn't do any good because nyy doesn't read them anyway)))) (((((<3 nyy. =D )))))
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Old September 25th, 2006, 07:20 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:11 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Can we vote to evict someone out of the lounge?


He's turning it into an emo kid's ******* :nododgy:
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Old September 25th, 2006, 08:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I say immediate lounge ban !
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Old September 25th, 2006, 09:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I say immediate lounge ban !
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Old September 25th, 2006, 09:20 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComradeMolyneux
What if you tried praying yourself out of this ****in forum.


(damn, I'm on a rampage tonight) =\ ((in my opinion at least)) (((those offended by my posts should report them to the moderators))) ((((which doesn't do any good because nyy doesn't read them anyway)))) (((((<3 nyy. =D )))))
I read them, I just don't know how to read racism against mexicans.

<333 mr.commiepants
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Listen man. no one cares about your petty little boohoo issues.

I had a buddy who wrecked his bike had his fiance run away with some air force **** head and was set to deploy next week..he ended up taking some pills and alot of booze and tried to cut himself. Hes in the hospital still and I lost all respect for him. Theres a million people you can talk to....this forum is generally not one of those millions.

Someone can point you in the right direction but no one wants to hear you rant on about stupid stuff...as mentioned above you can go to ******* and then people who actually care can click on it.

I see another post like this out of you any time soon in the lounge and you will be banned from the lounge...pretty simple
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:32 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Listen man. no one cares about your petty little boohoo issues.

I had a buddy who wrecked his bike had his fiance run away with some air force **** head and was set to deploy next week..he ended up taking some pills and alot of booze and tried to cut himself. Hes in the hospital still and I lost all respect for him. Theres a million people you can talk to....this forum is generally not one of those millions.

Someone can point you in the right direction but no one wants to hear you rant on about stupid stuff...as mentioned above you can go to ******* and then people who actually care can click on it.

I see another post like this out of you any time soon in the lounge and you will be banned from the lounge...pretty simple
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:35 PM   #18 (permalink)
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holy ****, isnt duo coming back soon?
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
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holy ****, isnt duo coming back soon?
Nope, Fall of next year IIRC.



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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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ahaha.


Duo, that crazy mormon guy.
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
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i would say send him to andrews forum if it is still up
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Old September 25th, 2006, 10:44 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I'm speechless.
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Old September 26th, 2006, 02:27 PM   #23 (permalink)
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wow thread #8 damn you need to get some friends
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Old September 26th, 2006, 02:34 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I don't care what yall say but i feel for the guy.
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Old September 26th, 2006, 08:18 PM   #25 (permalink)
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i got lost when you said you werent religious yet you prayed to god....
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