A Trbo rant...on public restrooms - Paintball Forum - Paintball guns and gear forums

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Old June 13th, 2012, 01:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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A Trbo rant...on public restrooms

so sure, theres some bad restrooms out there, Im sure your local gas stations have some horror stories but those are not the ones I am talking about.

Oh nay nay, this has now happened to me at not 1, but 2 separate colleges with "modern" bathrooms, you know, the kind with stainless steel everywhere

so you walk in, everything is fine except for that burrito you ate from a truck yesterday which wants to dive out of you like a BP oil slick. So you make your way to the stalls, of course half of them have not flushed and by no fault of the previous user, Oh nay nay, we can not be bothered to flush toilets anymore but rather lets leave it up to the little computer that seems to be programmed to flush the toilet about as much as highschool boys do. So you either find the little button if you are lucky enough to be in a bathroom that has them or find the 1 toilet that did manage to flush after its previous user was done downloading yesterdays meatloaf. you sit down and to pass the time you read the walls. After you are done feeling like everyone has had their share at calling you gay and the toilet has flushed 5 times in succession you try to decipher the gang writing on the door in front of you and inevitably fail but wonder if the author even learned English at any point in his being there at the college.

Alright, time to find some toilet paper

oh, right, its not where it used to be in the good old days of toilets actually being useful, due to all the strict accessibility and handicapped laws now a days along with people in general just being fatter, there is now a full length bar where the toilet paper dispenser used to be. Nice for those power thrusts when you need something to hold onto to get past the "ground beef" section of that burrito but looking back you decide you would much rather have had to grab your knees for that and had the toilet paper easier to get to. Now because of the rail though it is tucked down and under the rail. cant be above it no, that may place it out of reach for someone with no arms. Inevitably you reach down and find.....well nothing because the end of the paper is wrapped up around the rest of the roll so now you are fishing for it and trying your hardest to find it meanwhile having a conversation with the gentleman in the next stall, I mean you might as well seeing as your face is pretty much on the floor to try and find the end of the toilet paper and you still have a better view of his stall over the end of the toilet paper.

ok right, got it, finally

you pull and.....well naturally it breaks so you have 1 square in your hand, repeat last paragraph about 3 times

ok, finally done with the toilet paper, you stand up, button yourself up and...well nothing, the toilet has already flushed 5 times and thinks nobody is in the stall at this point.

so you have to fondle the door latch for a minute naturally because it will lock you in but getting out it likes to play games

alright, time to wash the hands

oh the joy of modern civilization is that we have machines to do everything for us right? ya, about that....

put hands under faucet...nothing...take hands out...water! put hands towards wat....nope, turned off
put hands under faucet...nothing...take hands out...water! put hands towards wat....nope, turned off
put hands under faucet...nothing...take hands out...water! put hands towards wat....nope, turned off
put hands under faucet...nothing...take hands out...water! put hands towards wat....nope, turned off

so you end up groping the sensor on the faucet to try and make it understand that your hands are there AND you would like water on them, all the time realizing that every other guy who has been though this bathroom has done the same thing so now you feel like washing your hands is kind of pointless seeing as every other guy along with you has just got done whipping his ass and then all groping the same spot on the faucet.

the soap dispenser plays largely the same game with you but inevitably you have something that resembles soap and something that resembles water on your hands and call it good enough

time to dry your hands and im not sure who decided battery operated paper towel depressors was a good idea but i have a bit of a news flash for them...THEY ARE NOT

first of all these were introduced for 2 reasons, first to try and limit the amount each person has to touch the same surface, well that was tried with the sensor faucets and we see how well that worked

secondly to try and limit the amount of paper each person uses, which idk about you guys but i always seem to have to use more with these things. the first time you wave your hand in front of it...well nothing happens of course, but the second...or third time, whenever it decides to work it gives you like 6" of paper towel and sure, if i was trying super hard to conserve paper towels i could probably make that work, so you get a second one...and then a third so you finally feel that you have enough paper towel to work with

so finally your bathroom excursion is over, its time to go back to the real world and you are hungry, burrito from a truck sure sounds good right about now, you turn to leave and realize that the door opens in and in order to get out you must grab that same handle that every other guy who has come through here, whipped his ass not even bothered to wash his hands or tried to wash them and failed has grabbed making all the previous efforts to not touch surfaces seem rather pointless, feeling defeated you grab the handle and go to get your burrito

"But at least they are making an effort Trbo" yes, lets applaud effort, whats that you say? wind storm outside? tree fell over and knocked out power to all of campus? well that sucks, guess ill just go use the bathroom to pass the ti.......what? what do you mean "I cant use the bathroom?" oh thats right, everything needs POWER to work now a days, so not only is it dark in the bathrooms, but the toilets will not flush, sinks wont turn on and the paper towel dispenser is about as useful as the French army. back at my CC this happened and there was 1 bathroom on all of campus that was still useable, it was in one of the oldest buildings on campus and everything was MANUALLY operated!

it was fantastic

/rant
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Old June 13th, 2012, 01:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Remind me never to go to washington bathrooms...
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Old June 13th, 2012, 06:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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lol, agreed
I like the low tech stuff at Purdue
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Old June 13th, 2012, 06:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I like the closet bathrooms at purdue in the old buildings
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Old June 13th, 2012, 09:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
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tl;dr

jkjk.

automatic systems are good if they work. few of my malls are full auto and work like a charm
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Old June 14th, 2012, 11:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Still laughing
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Old June 14th, 2012, 06:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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as usual, we seem to be a step behind europe.
Crazy public toilet! - YouTube
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Old June 14th, 2012, 06:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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as usual, we seem to be a step behind europe.
Crazy public toilet! - YouTube
i have to wonder if you would be stuck in there if the power is cut to it...
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Old June 14th, 2012, 06:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm certian there are failsafe devices built in to prevent that

Hey, japan has some killer hot springs as well. I listen to the CAG cast, it's supposed to be about video games, but mostly they talk about thier lives for half the episodes and they mentioned these a few times.

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Old June 14th, 2012, 06:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm certian there are failsafe devices built in to prevent that
the TP is on an electric motor and you think they are going to bother putting in a manual lock for the door?
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Old June 14th, 2012, 06:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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relays are just electromagnetics, I imagine most things operate by using them. when power drops, the open up and manual controls are available.

there's no way they would design a device like that with some sort of plan for loosing power
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Old June 14th, 2012, 07:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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theres no way they would send out some colonists and allow them to rebel to become their own nation either
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Old June 14th, 2012, 07:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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worked out pretty good for me and you. maybe we should just trap people in there.
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