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Old August 6th, 2004, 09:31 AM   #1 (permalink)
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silly telemarketers

i ran into this. some are good idea, others suck. its a list of 20 things to do when a telemarketer calls...

http://www.bankrate.com/nsc/news/advice/20031107a1.asp
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Old August 6th, 2004, 09:37 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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One of my favorite things to do is to act all interested for 2 or 3 minutes, tell 'em I'm going to grab a pen and paper, then leave the phone off the hook till they hang up. (Usually at least 10 mins) In some call centers it really screws up their quota since they don't want to hang up on such an excited customer.

Also if they ask to speak with the "lady of the house" I tell em to hold on a sec, wait a minute, the pick it up an say with a deep manly "bassy" voice, "This is she"

Another thing you could do, although it's rather esoteric, is to pick up the phone and start speaking in clicks and pops, old school Africa style and occasionally throw out the name "Sally Struthers".

Last edited by Javaman; August 6th, 2004 at 09:59 AM..
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Old August 6th, 2004, 09:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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i like hitting on the telmarket
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Old August 6th, 2004, 09:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I blast Led Zeppelin in the phone, or yell NO! Next time ill try to sell THEM something.
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Old August 6th, 2004, 09:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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my bro was one for about a month and complained about he got paid by call and the worst thing you could do to a telemarketer is to keep them on the phone without buying anything. That is why i just say no thanks an hang up.
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Old August 6th, 2004, 10:00 AM   #6 (permalink)
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i did this once, it was the ny times calling me and this womans like "hello sir would you be interested in a sunday subscription to the ny times" and i responded, "wow you people are relentless, im currently on the other line with john from ny times"
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Old August 6th, 2004, 10:38 AM   #7 (permalink)
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^ lol

usually if my step dad answers and they ask for my mom, he usually tells them she just died in a horrible car accident and they are all like "omgz im so sorry!"
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Old August 6th, 2004, 10:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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What I do: "What did you possibly screw up in your life, to end up having this job? How horrible of a life must one lead, to have a career of calling people on the phone? Not even haveing the social skills required to meet someone in person. You should be ashamed of yourself!" -click-
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Old August 6th, 2004, 10:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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i have a darth vador voice translator so i just pick it up with that on it and be like "hello, youve reached the vador resedence, were not in right now so leave your name, status, and how we can kill you. thank you" by then they hang up
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Old August 6th, 2004, 11:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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im a telemarketer . well, i am for one more day. i get REALLY pissed at people, especially old ones and little kids and yell at them and make them seem stupid. im suprised i wasnt fired. i got yelled at for saying ****ing **** on the phone though
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Old August 6th, 2004, 11:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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what i like to do is awnser it and say

"this is the taliban, how may i help you" in a indian voice :-D
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Old August 6th, 2004, 11:24 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Call the cult
"Sorry I can't talk, I am about to cut off my tongue to achieve ultimate power."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh man i gotta try that
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Old August 6th, 2004, 11:31 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Ever seen Seinfeld?

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just about to run out the door with some friends. Tell you what, if you leave me your home phone number I'll call you when I get back."
"I'm sorry, sir, I can't do that."
"Oh, you probably don't want people calling you at home do you?!" *click*
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Old August 6th, 2004, 11:44 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I was a telemarketer when I was 17. I sucked at it and after a month my boss gave me and my buddy an ultimatum to sell more or get fired, since I wasnt gonna be selling more we just spent the rest of the week making prank phone calls across america and then quit the day before we were gonna get fired. Hey I got a paycheck for 5 more days and had fun doing it. I just wish I could have made international prank phone calls. That would have really pissed off my employer.
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Old August 6th, 2004, 12:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
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for some reason, telemarketers dont seem to call my house any more.....i wonder why?
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Old August 6th, 2004, 01:23 PM   #16 (permalink)
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maybe someone singed your house up for the do not call list and if they call you they lose $11,000
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for the freshest tees on the net

Gotta make the best of free advertising
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Old August 6th, 2004, 01:36 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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What I do now because of that national "Do not Call list", I ask for their company's name and the telemarketers Full name, and tell them, I am going to collect for this lost time.

They just hang up sometimes, some give me the names.
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Old August 6th, 2004, 02:07 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Ok, heres the best idea, you fill up a paper bag with air, than tie it, then you say, hi, yes, but... "HEY, GET OUT OF HERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, WHA...OMG HE HAS A FU*KING GUN" then drop the phone, and smash the paper bag so it makes a really loud noise, it's really funny when the telemarkers are like "sir, sir, are you ok, sir" LOL
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Old August 6th, 2004, 06:11 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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don't let this thread die it's important
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Old August 6th, 2004, 06:23 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I have two ones I use.
1st one is off of Becker:
"Hello"
"This is AT&T, would you like to take advantage of our new lower rates?"
"Do I wanna change my phone service?" (blows airhorn into mic) "Thanks for calling".

2nd one:
Rent the Godfather or something, and find a scene where there is a gun fight.
"Hello"
"This is blah blah selling blah blah."
"I might not be... uh-oh...OH NO!!!" (start playing the movie) "AHHHHHH!!"
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Old August 6th, 2004, 06:35 PM   #21 (permalink)
 
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i still think the paper bag one's better
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Old August 6th, 2004, 06:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
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http://www.ebaumsworld.com/telemarket.shtml

Thats better..
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