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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
This is the message I recieved from HQ Monday. The following message afterwards is in-field status report. Sunday, I'll post the conclusion.

Operation- Merry Christmas
When- By Saturday.
Where- Tuscaloosa
Funds- 15 American Dollars.

Greetings.

Tyler, You have been selected for Operation Merry Christmas. Your g/f is going to have her birthday Saturday. You have been selected by her to attend her party, then have some alone time afterwards.

Your mission, if you accept, is to get laid by Saturday, 12 am (midnight,) using only the funds available. Alcohol and illegal substances are strictly prohibited. You must have her consent.

Good luck, agent​

Reporting,

Commander, the time is 5 pm, Friday. Using the funds available, I had to cut some corners. I bought a musical, silver jewelry box from a man who lost his wife after he bought it. He let it go for $10. His loss is the mission's gain.

I had a man engrave it for $1.50. Making the gift "for her alone," even for an entire buck fifty, makes the pants looser, if you know what I mean.

A poem has been written, and has been placed inside the box. A common, but effective, tactic, as you know. The materials for this poem were a total of $0.50.

Operation Merry Christmas is well under way. Field reports suggest that success is very likely.

Next report should be sent Saturday.

Agent out​

My next report will be Saturday. I still have $3.

Commander,

Mission failure.

Enemy target, D.A.D., successfully snuck up on the mission objective just moments before success. D.A.D. was armed with a .22 handgun of some sort, and field reports suggest that he was "not too happy." Accordingly, I retreated back to my vehicle.

Mission outcome- Failure.
Next date's outcome prediction- Success. Agents in the fields report that she is still hrony and mad at D.A.D.

Tonight sucked... what actually happened was her Dad drove up to us, and told us that he was "fine with us making out, because [he is] an open-minded kinda guy." He regularly carries around a handgun, so not good to cross him.

After that, we never had the chance. If only she was allowed to ride with me, this wouldn't happen.. but I guess that's why her parents make that stupid rule. Oh well- Always tomorrow.
 

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planned parenthood is the shizzle. You get a paper bag full of condoms for free, but to get a girl on the pill, it cost some money. Or you can just take you girl there the next day and they will give her a pill to kill the baby. and yes, stfu if you don't like abortion, get over it.
 

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forumrider99 said:
and they will give her a pill to kill the baby. and yes, stfu if you don't like abortion, get over it.
He was talking about the lady already having the baby in her, then giving her the pill to kill it. And, even if the baby isn't a a real person yet, it's still something that could've been, so it is murder.You shouldn't have sex until you're married anyways, and abortion is stupid and wrong
 

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forumrider99 said:
Or you can just take you girl there the next day and they will give her a pill to kill the baby. and yes, stfu if you don't like abortion, get over it.
Ha...that "pill" is meant for emergencies only, such as a rape. After it has been used once it loses it's effect.
 

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P4IN7 B4LLS said:
jacking off is killing sperm which could've been kids, so dont try that one...
Life begins at the moment of conception. When the sperm goes into the lady, she forms an egg, that's when life begins. And he said to take pills to KILL the baby. He never said to take the pill so conception wouldn't happen.
 

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Well it's 12 a.m. I wonder how he's doin.
 
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