Paintball Guns and Gear forums banner

1 - 20 of 21 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
72 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This joke is a dirty as your mind goes!

My friend told me on the way to see Bourne Supremecy, and I burst out laughing. I guess it was a "laugh of the moment" thing, since we all were telling jokes and laughing at all of them.

Anyway, the joke is as follows:

A little kid came home from school and asked his dad:
"Hey dad, I heard of a thing called a va.gina. What is it and what does it look like?"

The dad goes:
"Well son, before sex, its looks like a beautiful unopened rose."

The kid:
"Really? What about after sex?"

Dad:
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"


Sorry if this is too dirty for the forum, and if it is, delete it at will. At the moment, I found this extremely funny, perhaps because of the disgusting picture that came to mind when I heard this. Hope it stimulated the humorous part of your brain!

If not, my apologies.
 

·
Its never lupus
Joined
·
9,169 Posts
Thats too good. Nice job man, so damn funny.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
612 Posts
Thats great.

LOL!

another:

How are mcdonalds and michal jackson alike?
"they both stick their meat between 7 year old buns"

^ someone told me that in the middle of social studies...oh man it was funny.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,226 Posts
How abou these-

A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.

He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.

"Yes officer?"

"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"

"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."

"What about the young lady in the backseat?"

The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."

"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.

"I am 25 Officer."

"And the girl?"

The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

________________________________________________________________________

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his pe.nis in the mommy’s va.gina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s pe.nis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry"
_______________________________________________________________________

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

________________________________________________________________________

A woman’s husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.

One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she’s waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.

“It’s getting late, big boy,” she says after a few minutes. “Why don’t we go upstairs to bed.”

“We might as well,” slurs the husband. “I’m going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway.”
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,980 Posts
i cant get that vision out of my head
 
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Top