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Allen
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5,718 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
NEVER CHOKE IN A SOUTHERN RESTAURANT




Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe gain, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't never seen nobody do it."
 

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Its never lupus
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9,169 Posts
well all American English is rather unproper compared to real English.
We say bloody instead of blutty. We also pronounce our Hs and Rs. I think we speak it better than them. Granted we do have some funny accents.
 

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Into the whole Yale thing
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1,073 Posts
We say bloody instead of blutty. We also pronounce our Hs and Rs. I think we speak it better than them. Granted we do have some funny accents.
We may speak it more eloquently than Brits, but they compose sentences, generally, with much more regimentation and, paradoxically, ornamentation than us Americans.

As Stephen King said, the English can make a condom ad sound like a formal discourse on the contemporary implications of the Magna Carta. rollin:
 

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Its never lupus
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9,169 Posts
We may speak it more eloquently than Brits, but they compose sentences, generally, with much more regimentation and, paradoxically, ornamentation than us Americans.

As Stephen King said, the English can make a condom ad sound like a formal discourse on the contemporary implications of the Magna Carta. rollin:
But with an Irish or Scottish accent its the aural equivalent of a bar fight.

Americans suck at insulting, especially on the West Coast. In New England they'll use similes and metaphors (comparing your mother's cooch to the dirty crack between old couch cushions). In Britain they're much more inventive. Here everyone just swears and its rare to hear anything aside from ****, *****, asshole, ****, etc.

edit- I thought the swear filter included the donkey cavity.
 

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Allen
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5,718 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Speaking of the south... how ARE grits? I've never really had the chance to actually sample them myself. I can't say I even know what they are made of, actually...
Grits are the ****, try them asap. :tup


Grits is the southern version of polenta (corn meal), no? They use a different kind of corn meal though. I've eaten quite a bit of polenta, I love it. Grits uses white corn meal whereas polenta is yellow.
:tup :tup
 

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904 Posts
I love G.R.I.T.S..........
But grits are just as tasty....with some butter and hot sauce...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm slap yo momma
 
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