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Imperator
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19,071 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Got these in an e-mail today, thought I would share.

First the interesting:

A bit of history . . . . . .

Two Great Stories - BOTH TRUE - and worth reading!

STORY NUMBER ONE:

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't
famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy
city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a
good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal
maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the
money big, but also, Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and
his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of
the
conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an
entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little
consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have
one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to
it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing
was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with
organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie
wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth
and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he
couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted
to
rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities
> and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished
> name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he
> would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would
> be great.
>
> So, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a
> blaze
> of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given
> his
> son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could
> ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a
> religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine. The poem read:
>
> The clock of life is wound but once,
> And no man has the power
> To tell just when the hands will stop
> At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.



STORY NUMBER TWO:

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant
Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft
carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron
was
sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge
and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He
would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his
ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly,
he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned
his blood cold: a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way
toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie,
and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron
and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the
fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the
fleet. Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the
formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he
charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch
wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes
as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he
continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or
tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible and
rendering
them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another
direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter
limped
back to the carrier. Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event
surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his
plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to
protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch
became
the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the
Congressional Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.

His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade,
and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage
of this great man.
So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give
some
thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his
Medal
of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?


Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.



....and now the funny stuff

> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
>
> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
>
> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys

and apes?
>
> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
> bad girls live.
>
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the

self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>
> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>
> 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
>
> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
> it considered a hostage situation?
>
> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>
> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
>
> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an

endangered plant?
>
> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>
> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>
> 15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
> clean them?
>
> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
>
> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>
> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
> remain silent?
>
> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
>
> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
> signs?
>
> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>
> 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
>
> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>
> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>
> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
>
> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
>
> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>
> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
>
> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
>
> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>
> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>
> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
> disoriented?
>
> 34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
 

·
Shine on Rick Wright
Joined
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3,235 Posts
> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the

self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
heh..
 
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