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so, half day today. watched some bands, went to my girlfirends. sat around. slept. she came home. hung out. did the usually gf bf thing then went out for dinner. blah balh blah

then he friend comes over. then we go to this party. Well the one girl lets me have her peach snapes.. but then some one breaks and spills the whole bottle so he thought it was mine and gave me free reign over his beer. a foolish thing to do to derek.

so I drank. A lot. This one guy funneled some whiskey and red bull. then a beer, than another beer, than two beers. All around funny ****. he turned into a retarded. Some guys stole the birthday dudes cake and ate it in the furnance room. I went and wathed. funny as hell.. he had cake all down himself and seriously looked retarded eating it.. I laughed real hard.

Then I started funneling and chuggin beers. Drank my fair share.

But see, my girlfriend has this phobia thing with puke. She just freaks out and hyperventilates when she sees it. Well this funneling cake eating mofo is sitting in a chair. My gfs sitting on the couch behind me with me between her legs. And we're talking.. and then this kid just explodes. like puke everywhere and all over himself. My gf jumps up, flips over the couch and bolts it upstairs.

mean while this kid is covered in his own barf and it sprayed like all over. I got some on my pants and just like I lost it. I laughed SO hard. but then I went up to see my gf, she wanted to leave. so I went down and grabbed her purse and jackter and then the smell hit me. I almost lost it. I was heaving. Kept er'down and laughed SO hard. Like I was dying laughing. SO I grabbed her **** went upstairs, head my laughter and she drove me home

I get home. My parents are there with friends. Im hammered. I make a run for my room. She comes in and is looking at the necklace my gf got me and I reek of beer. Yikes.

But I laughed.

and real bad news. I accidentaly called my girlfriend my ex's name. opps.
 

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YES just in time for christmas, another d_smalls drunk thread.

TonyD246 said:
Sometimes. You aren't familiar with the posting habits of one Derek Smalls, are you?
he does make a very coherent online drunk.
 
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ahh no! I got that feeling where you just pissd but gotta piss again,. but you know its just gonna hurt.. ****.
 
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nvm, it didnt hurt.. but there was a kink and i pissed all over the seat.. damn.. sorry mom.
 

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTFU
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I know how it is. A few weeks ago a friend of mine left me two comments on myspace. The first was mid-drink...perfect typing. A half hour later (no more drinks, it just finally hit her)....I think there was something wrong with each word in the comment.

I can type alright when I'm drunk, most of the time. By the time I have to press "backspace" six times per word, I just call it quits.
 

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I love your stories,Smalls. Always a good read.
 

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Well, I'll tell you guys since I posted it in this thread before. The night went alright. She had to be home at 1:00 am so she had to leave liek 20 minutes ago. I did drink a lot though. It's just now starting to hit. obviously i'm a good typer when I'm drunk, but that's only because i'm anal and correct errors i see immediatley. I'm goign to see her again by the way, new years party baby!
 

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Liquor for da Homiez
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D_Smalls said:
Im getting better. I used to be horrible.
Practice makes perfect, Right?

<3 for derek. I always look forward to these threads. It's been a while, if I do say so myself.
 

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Nice story. It actully kept me entertained :D. Ive had those similar moments where someone pukes on you. Your barely got puked on though, Have you Ever been atcully puked on? like all in your lap? let me tell you, its not pretty.
 
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Discussion Starter #19
Hypnotize said:
Nice story. It actully kept me entertained :D. Ive had those similar moments where someone pukes on you. Your barely got puked on though, Have you Ever been atcully puked on? like all in your lap? let me tell you, its not pretty.
I dont think so. Thankfully. I'm usually pretty good about it. I never puke on myself when I spew. Well, a bit on my shoes and feet. But that's no problem.

but this kid was just sitting there and exploded. He didnt even try to get up or anything. Just blah! hahaha. The cake and fries went everywhere. haha.

I got the after beer farts now though. Nasty.
 
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Discussion Starter #20
dudeus000 said:
you dont piss in the sink?

not usually. It's been done though. If im real real drunk I'll sit down. In this case, I should have.

But outdoor urination is the best.


BAURblades said:
Practice makes perfect, Right?

<3 for derek. I always look forward to these threads. It's been a while, if I do say so myself.
there was the one last week. but it was first in a long time. I usually dont come home anymore so i never have a computer to mess around on.
 
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