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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

and

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

:tup :rofl
 

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look LOOK ! ha you looked
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Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.






just like diomands
 

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these ones rock.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
 

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They'd make good t-shirts, its too bad that if you think its cool to buy one everyone will and then you'll think its cool not to follow a fad and won't buy one or wear it ever again.


aye..


I still want to make a t-shirt out of this though. As it will protect me from being round house kicked by norris himself
 
D

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i first heard these in history class. These two brothers were telling em. Oh **** it was halirous
 

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I was saving that bacon
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Chuck norris isnt hung like a horse, instead horse's are hung like chuck norris....
 

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Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.

If you were born before 1980, there is a good chance that chuck norris is your father. If you were born after, it's guaranteed.
 
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